Rosemary and Time

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“But… I mean, what should a parent do for a child with his condition, doctor?”

“Well, you see, an antichrist is born every generation or so. It’s very rare, but of course it does happen. In the middle ages they’d kill them, you know, barbaric times. Ever since the 19th century when god died, however, it’s been pretty straightforward.”

“Wait, what was that about God?”

“No dear, god. Lower case. You can hear the difference. Any way, god of course was long dead by the time Nietzsche publicly declared it, and after that the battle between heaven and hell was moot. Now they’re both like creepy old vacant houses in an upscale neighborhood that clearly need to get torn down and rebuilt from scratch instead of trying to remodel them.”


“Try to focus, dear, I’m a pediatrician, not a theologian. The point is that bearing the antichrist unto the world is generally harmless in this day and age. There are just a few things you’ll find helpful…”


“You’ll want to find a good exterminator of course. Pests will be drawn to him. You may have already seen more wasps, centipedes, and rats lately.”

“Yes, actually. Oh, and we found termites recently…”

“Yes, these things happen, of course. It’s part of the territory with having an unholy infant, I’m afraid. Oh, and be sure to teach him to watch out for strange dogs.”

“Like, rabid?”

“No, like three-headed.”

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