Sex Slang for People in Long-Term Relationships

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If you’re like me you don’t know what any of the shit on the internet means. I did some research and it turns out all the popular sexting words and newfangled sex slang mean different things to people in long-term relationships than they do to, like, people in Tindr and whatnot. Hope this helps.

6UAL Sex Unless an Animal’s Looking

“Think I’m feeling 6UAL so can you put Spaniel Radcliffe in his crate tonight or something? Cuz last time I made eye contact with him.”

69 the earliest age at which one of you will be able to retire

Alabama Hot Pocket sex while watching a Jim Gaffigan special

Anal Any Alcohol?

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“I unno. Anal?”

AR Am Right

BDE Barely Detectable Erection

“It’s time! It’s time! I got that BDE.”

BDSM Bathroom Dirty Start Mopping

BJ Buy Jäger

Cream Pie when you spit out your toothpaste but forget to wash it down the drain

Digital Penetration when you remember your partner’s smartphone password

DL Don’t Look

“Should we get all the way naked this time?”

“Um, OK, but let’s keep it on the DL.”

Docking when you accidentally tap your partner’s car while pulling into the driveway

DTF Down To Fart

“Feeling kinda MILFy tonight.”

“That’s cool, baby. You know I’m always DTF!”

FB Fuuuuck, Buddy

“You put the ice cream in the fridge and it leaked all over everything and the kids are listening so FB!”

Felching farting and belching at the same time

Hot Beef Injection you’re both too tired to cook so you go to Arby’s

MILF Man, I’d Like to Fart

Netflix and Chill you’ll feel old if you go to bed at 9 p.m. so you both fall asleep on the couch with the TV on

Muff-diving trying to find a scarf in the hat-and-scarf box in the closet

The Old Reacharound when your partner is between you and the remote and you reach around to grab it on the sly

Quickie regular sex

Squirting when you pee your pants a little

Stiffy joint pain

“Can’t stand up. Got a monster stiffy.”

The Taint that mysterious smell in the fridge

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